Dr. Lise’s Blog

By: Dr. Lise Janelle  Lately the media have been constantly feeding us stories about the bad state of the world economy. I know that high drama creates more people buying newspapers and listening to the news but if we are not aware of it, it can also help create more of what it is scaring people into believing. Support and challenge are constantly in balance. This past summer it was consistently in the news that the price of gasoline was going up and up. Now it is the lowest that it has been in years but there is no front page mention of that.  Through this  ‘bear market’ period, opportunities are being created that were not there before.  New values are being developed. I read an article recently about a woman who as a child experienced a fire in the forest near her home.  At first she had been extremely upset by it, but during the summer new bushes of blueberries grew that made her quite happy. It is the same thing with the economy.  When markets change, at first it feels like a catastrophe, but later on new opportunities manifest themselves that would not have been created otherwise.  It is important to keep a longer term vision and free ourselves from the emotions of the moment. Until recently, we had been going through a fairly steady optimistic period in the economy and as a result people developed certain values. People tend to be more materialistic when they are optimistic about the economy; we spend a lot of time thinking about possessions. There is less gratitude for what we have as we take things more for granted. Children who once would not hesitate to ask for $150 pair of sneakers may now think twice and understand their parents better. People who once thought that their job was safe and secure for the rest of their life may now think about taking the courses and doing the upgrading they meant to be doing for a while, but hadn’t because it was more comfortable not to. Is the economy really bad or is it simply going through a ‘restructuring?” Are we weaker now or are we taking care of obvious failures in the system that will make a global economy of the future stronger?Perhaps we are simply developing new values that will help people live more from their heart. If you are interested in finding more about living from your center and less in reactions to your environments so that you experience inner peace no matter what is happening around you, you may want to visit: WWW.CONVERSATIONWITHTHEHEART.COM 

This came from one of my coaching sessions today…He came him and told me he is suffering from a broken heart. 

We often confuse need with love. When we lose something or someone we need as opposed to love, it hurts. When a client comes to see me and tells me that their heart is hurting, that there is so much pain in their heart, I know they are confusing their heart with their emotions. And when we do that, it causes distress because we feel like something is really wrong since our ‘heart is hurting’. But the heart only experiences love and gratitude. So when we are experiencing pain, grief, anger, jealousy, loss or even the extreme highs of elation and infatuation, we are actually experiencing an emotion. We only experience emotions when we either see more positives than negatives or more negative than positives in a situation. The truth is that, just like the yin and yang symbol expresses so well, there is always an equal and opposite balance of both in every situation.  If you support someone too much, they weaken. If you challenge someone a lot they get very strong. Both forces are necessary. If we have a tendency to stay within our comfort zone and cuddle ourselves too much, we experience great challenges in our life. If we follow our heart and take on the challenges necessary to fulfill it, we attract support… that’s the law of attraction. So, next time you face a situation and experience a lot of pain, take the time to find what is the benefit in what is happening. How are the circumstances actually helping you get what your heart truly desires?

 I have a client who’s relationship is ending and he was really upset because he feels that he is ready for a committed relationship. His partner was not. Before she met him she had been in a 17 years long relationship. He sent ‘by mistake’ an email that was meant to me to her and because of it the relationship is ending. He was really distressed. He felt that he had made a big mistake. When I pointed to him that actually, since his heart is craving to be in a committed relationship and the one he was in was not going to satisfy that need, it was perfect. It was not a mistake. Sometimes we need to challenge ourselves to get what our heart wants. Out of love for ourselves and for others. If he really loves his girlfriend, he will understand that she needs to be true to her heart just like he needs to be true to his. If he comes from fear, than he is needy, he won’t want to let go because of the fear that he will never find someone else to love. But when we love and know that we are worthy of love, there is always love around us and inside of us. We experience love by loving others, not by waiting for others to give it to us….

Love and Light,

Dr. Lise

Email from a Coaching Client:

Dear Dr Lise,

I have been trying to sleep these past few nights and although very fatigued my head won’t stop. I’m feeling very alone and very out of control financially with no motivation or ability to know how to turn it around. My personal credit card is up over $8000, I’ve reduced one of my savings from $7800 down to $1200 as I transfer money to cover personal (back in July I had to give $1500 to an older man I rear-ended when he stopped after moving to turn, I was behind him..sort of my
fault) and business, with my line of credit near maxed at $19000. Then
my street was vandalized, my car amongst several whose passenger side
mirrors were totally smashed off or in my case hanging by wires. I was fortunate and could tape it back on.

Then there’s my daughter leaving to go to school in Montreal soon. She’s been living with her boyfriend since I moved. Even my horse, I’m not getting to enough and feel I miss her and am feeling rather lost in my life. I feel a little numb like I’m just floating down a muddy river. And being on my own and with the novelty wearing off I’m not eating very well.

Any suggestions?

with love R

Response from Dr Lise:

Yes these moments are challenging. But remember the metaphor of the butterfly and the cocoon. The struggle against the cocoon is what allows the butterfly to grow strong wings so that it can fly. As an observer on the outside, I can see how you are being guided to finding your connection to your higher self. Personally my inner connection is my greatest source of love and support. With it I feel
safe, loved and connected. When we are connected inside we have people
we love in our life but we don’t need them to be our source of comfort.
So I would recommend to you is to practice the heart math breathing
that I have showed you. Sit in silence and breathe in and out from your heart.
Remember times where you feel grateful: special moments with your
daughter, sisters, mother, dad, nature, horse. This will open your
heart and make you feel loved, that’s your true source of love. When
you connect there you can ask for guidance regarding your business. I
showed you a specific meditation for your business, have you been
doing it or allowing yourself to spin out of control in your emotions?
Just like when you are on a horse, if you are centered the horse
responds, if you are in a storm of emotions, your horse won’t respond
well to you. The same with your life. Your emotions are lies.
The truth is that you are loved.

Emotions happen when you don’t see the perfection in the events of
your life, when you are ungrateful or infatuated: when you see more pain
than pleasure or more pleasure than pain. There is no such thing.
Everything is in perfect balance. Equal support and challenge.
You need to be tough right now, you need to focus your mind to help
you calm your emotions so that you can enter your heart.
This is self mastery. It is the path to enlightenment.
Sit down with your staff, create a plan. Inspire them, inspire yourself.

You are a creator. Create your life exactly as you would love it. If Deon does not satisfy you, leave him. Go for what you would love. You can have it all. Will you give it to yourself?

Today we are getting ready for our move to our new office in Cabbagetown. I have many found memories that I have been accumulated over the years here on Broadview. While I was a chiropractor I went through sad and happy times, illnesses, pregnancies, births, deathing processes with my patients. In many ways my patients were my extended family as most of my family of origin resides in Quebec. A part of me feels a bit melancholic but the other part of me looks forward to creating a new environment for the direction that my career is taking.

I look forward to settling into our new office where I will continue to see my coaching and N.E.T. clients. We have created a bright open space that we hope will be inspiring, relaxing and welcoming. There is easy parking just at the back of the office; it is very near the downtown core but also easy access from the Don Valley Parkway or Gardiner Expressway.

This is a major transition for us and it gave me the desire to share about some of what I have learned working with my clients who face life transitions. Transitions can be quite challenging as they are often subconsciously associated to past traumatic transitions. The first most potent one is birth. During birth often the mother is terrified of the pain and that something could go wrong for the baby or for herself. The contractions are very powerful and we are pushed out violently, we have no idea where we are going or what is going to happen creating a process that registers deeply in our subconscious mind. No wonder that many of us would rather stay in our little tight uncomfortable world (like in utero) rather than take a chance to go for a bigger world and what our heart desires! When a conditioned reflex gets activated we no longer act but rather react at the same chronological age that the emotion got stored in our physiology. Even though we are conscious adults we can’t figure out why we feel so scared or so uncomfortable at the idea of making a step that would bring us what we deep down desire. This is what people call ‘self-sabotage’ which is not us doing it consciously, we are not some deviant person who tries to inflict pain to ourselves by making the ‘wrong decision’ we are just ‘normally’ reacting to a stored conditioned reflex.

Other transition times that can register in our subconscious mind that can make it really hard for us to move towards what we would love are: going to school where the people there are not as much into us as our family is, moving home and leaving all our friends and familiar play places for a new place where we don’t know anything or anyone. All of these experiences if stored in our physiology can prevent us from doing what would be most fulfilling to us. I love using N.E.T. to help my clients and in my personal life to dissolve these blocks to living a vibrant life.

I look forward to seeing you soon at the new office!

58 Winchester Street Unit 1 (at the north east corner of Winchester and Parliament) 416-405-9478

Love and Light,

Dr. Lise

I really feel like I am coming out of a cave and reconnecting with the world. Writing my book has been an intense experience. My family and friends have not seen much of me as I was cooped up in front of my computer when not working or working out. It was so interesting to see that the metaphor of writing a book is like having a baby is not far off. I felt like I was pregnant, nurturing and being taken over by the ideas and making sure that they would grow to something healthy, beautiful and inspiring. You may already know the title: Conversation with the Heart, the path to freedom. I look forward to hearing your feedbacks and comments when it comes out very soon.

We are also in the process of moving our office to Cabbagetown. I have owned the building where I have been since 1994 and now feel that there is a need to change the energy. I am sure you will like the new environment. It is easy access from downtown as well as from the DVP or the Gardiner Expressway and there is easy private parking.

We also have a new logo that I feel represents very well what we stand for. It took four years to refine and own our message. Thanks to Norma Wick who had the creative idea we are now using a heart with a yin and yang to represent our philosophy for living a fulfilling vibrant life. It expresses the balance of listening and acting, support and challenge that is necessary to embrace when living connected to our heart.

I have decided to write this blog so that I can share with as many people as I can some of the very inspiring beautiful lessons, stories and experiences that I have the chance of living at the office. My hope is to help reconnect as many people as possible with their heart so they can live successful vibrant lives.

Love and Light,

Dr. Lise

The following are excerpts from an email from one of my clients. It represents quite well I believe one of the most common block to living a vibrant and fulfilling life: low self esteem:

“The big issue is that it is important for me to feel liked and understood. If the other person doesn’t feel this way about me then I feel bad. Ridiculous but I give them my power. Why? because their opinion of me is more important than my own opinion of myself. Or because actually a part of me feels they are right.

It all may come from that belief that I don’t deserve to be liked and I don’t deserve to be loved. So if someone doesn’t like me deep inside I feel it is probably because there is something wrong with me. My mother came from a lot of money but when she married my father she gave up all that. I resented my mother for marring my father and choosing to be poor.

I have never felt part of my wife’s family. I am from a different social class, and I didn’t feel worthy of being part of the family. Money has always been the issue. Not having money made me unworthy of being accepted and around them and their friends I always felt as an outsider and inferior.

Now financial success gives me value and even though I still don’t feel accepted into my wife’s social class at least I don’t feel rejected. They have never rejected me, on the contrary they have been very nice and helpful but for some reason I keep feeling the rejection for not having grew up like them.

So what do you think? I´m sure you´ll have some good ideas of things I can do to learn to love and accept myself and get rid of this inferiority complex.”

Part of my reply:

Low self esteem is the state of being of a major part of the people on this planet. So you are not unusual. Even your wife who was born in money has it… so money is not the cause of the low self esteem. You have used it to justify it but it’s not it. I have had gorgeous women coming to me with low self esteem because they felt they were ugly….

Low self esteem is created whenever we are disconnected from the heart. When we are in our heart we don’t have low self esteem. Having good self worth is something that we create by listening and acting on our heart’s desires and by letting go of the conscious and unconscious beliefs that we are unworthy of love. Is a child worthy of love? Most of these illusions that we are unworthy start in childhood…. Is an adult worthy of love even though because he got the illusion that he was unworthy as a child he reacted in ways that consolidated his beliefs throughout his life? Each day that we pay more and more attention to ourselves and our beauty we increase our self-esteem. There is no magic formula to creating good self esteem, it comes with an intense desire to free ourselves from the illusion that we are not. It’s a beautiful journey that brings fulfillment.